modus operandi

Celebrating someone's birthday isn't dependent on whether you do it on the actual day of that person's birthday or not. Look at it this way. Is it more enjoyable to have only 2-3 friends turning up for your birthday dinner/celebration or having 5-6 people turning up? Will the fact of having the celebration on the actual day of your birthday make up for the 3 people who won't be able to make it?

Think about it. What makes birthday celebrations awesome? The friends who turn up to spend time with you, no? It's not the presents, the free meal, and certainly not the minor detail of it being the actual day. The important part is being in the company of people who care for you, want to spend time with you, and appreciate that you came to be in the world and cross paths with them.

It's the idea of birthday celebrations that makes it all the more better, the rest are all superficial things, tangible things that make that idea easier to grasp, to give reason to.

Sure, it's your birthday, and it's only right to give you what you want. I hope with all your insistence that you'll be happy celebrating without the 3 people who would have otherwise been able to make it if we all met up on the Saturday before.

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以上、Chii です。

For some reason I was feeling extremely tired at work yesterday even though the night before I slept half an hour earlier than usual. It didn't help that the air-con in the office building has been crazy the past few days. First it was freezing, then two days ago it was cold in the morning but warm in the afternoon (because, apparently, someone shut off the vents. The idiot. There was no air circulation and we had to leave our office door open to let the AC from the corridor in!) and it was cold again yesterday morning but slightly less so in the afternoon. Hence my extremely bad headache that set in after lunch. The two Panadol pills I took helped, but only just a bit because my head still hurt (and I kept falling asleep) for the rest of the day.

So I did something I wanted to since starting work but never managed to. I slept at 10p.m. instead of my usual midnight bedtime. Then I woke up at 3a.m. because my body's used to having just 5-6 hours of sleep and because it was starting to rain then and the wind was howling madly. Somehow I managed to fall back asleep. I seriously need to start sleeping earlier every week night because after the long(er) sleep last night, I felt so much better at work this morning.

(Actually, I had the rest of this entry written down in my notebook this afternoon because I have half-day workdays on the eve of public holidays. After some shopping after work for a lunchbox bag and some socks, I had planned to stay in the library to do stuff on Albus because no one at home was able to connect to the Internet since yesterday even though our modem seemed to be working fine. Turned out every electric socket in the library was hogged—some people were just watching videos, what the hell?!—and half of all previously available sockets were either locked down or blocked. Seriously, public library facilities management, DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-EFF?! I didn't have Albus's battery with me because it was getting swollen and I didn't want to risk using it to breaking point and with no available socket, I just sat on a random cushion, endured a creepy guy in a purple tee who kept walking around my area, and wrote. And read a bit of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets until it was time to go home. Congrats to those who read/made it this far. Even I think all that was way too boring to blog about.)

( Click for random thoughts of randomness )

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以上、Chii です。

I know, I know. I said I'll stop ranting about my parents or either of them individually. But sometimes (most of the time) my mother can be SUCH AN ARSE.

This is my life; I chose to be in a relationship, I chose him to be in one with, and I know how bad things can get in a relationship but for once I chose to be brave and risk the possibility of getting hurt because I am not giving up on the possibility of this working out.

"Just be friends, okay? Don't be in a relationship or you'll get hurt."

You know, last I checked this is my life and these are my choices to make, whatever the consequences, which I will bear on my own if and when they occur because it is my own bloody responsibility, even though you might think that I'll be so devastated I'll need you to get me through it (and how the hell did you get so delusional to think that I'll ever need your help to get through the hypothetical pain I got myself into?). Don't get too comfortable with dictating practically every aspect of my life the way you've been doing for the past 22 years, and don't think you'll ever get the chance to dictate my emotions. This is one thing I won't let you mess up.

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以上、Chii です。

Am in school now, in the Mac lab, procrastinating taking a short break before resuming work on that website assignment for Editing Multimedia Publications.

Parental Suck happened this morning while I was waiting for the lift to get downstairs and my mother made a comment out of nowhere:

Girl, remember that even though you're in a relationship, you have to have your own opinion sometimes. Don't just let him decide everything.

Uh, yeah,DUH?

What gives you the authority to tell me that when YOU just blindly agree with whatever my father says? Between the two of us, I think it's pretty clear who's the one without any opinion of her own.

Double standard, much?

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以上、Chii です。

Just ranted to K.Ying about the angst of my day, and although I've already felt better (or I've just tried to ignore the feelings of negativity) before telling her, it released all the annoyance I've kept bottled up today.

My day didn't start out the usual angsty way, as my life is wont to do, because Y's letter that got delayed at the post office made it to me this morning and my day was made. MADE. So simply made it was pretty epic.

Then I got to school and met up with my lecturer for an interview I was recording for my Broadcast Journalism module. I've been very nervous about this for days because she's sort of the unofficial (or is the official?) head of my degree course here and OMG I don't want her judging me because I was recording things wrong, or phrasing things wrong, or a thousand other things my overly self-conscious mind worries about. Thankfully the interview went fine despite the little hiccup that was me saying she's from PSB Academy instead of "The University of Newcastle, Australia" (forgive me! You are based here, anyway) and mistook that she had three kids instead of four. And she said I had "a lovely voice". Can I squeal? OMG. My day was a little more made, even though I thought it was impossible.

( But my life is never complete without angst )

And to think my day had started out so awesomely.

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以上、Chii です。