Video Monday 19

[ausare]

Am so pissed that all I'm concentrating my effort on is to control my temper or I'll be cursing and swearing right now. There are so many angry, negative thoughts shooting through my mind that I can't begin to type coherently if I tried to blog about this current... situation. Looking back, it's hard to imagine how I used to love it and enjoy my long hours when now, even just thinking about them and seeing their status updates on Facebook is enough to boil my anger all over again even if they're not the cause of it. Then again, when I'm thinking about them, I can't help wondering if the understanding of what we share isn't mutual, that I'm the only one being too sentimental and automatically putting this on a pedestal because that's the kind of person I am, thinking too highly of friendships when the people I share it with obviously don't think the same.

Anyway. I can't blog like this—without a clear mind and a better sense of objectivity, where I might end up regretting what I shared online when I read my old entries again in the next few days or weeks.

Meanwhile, here's something cheerful.

VIDEO MONDAY 19

[Direct link to the video]

Oh, the things we don't realise until someone points it out.

—
以上、Chii です。

Comments

[lausi-gm.livejournal.com]

You know what I really admire here?
Your ability to keep yourself in check and NOT follow your first impulse and blog about whatever it is that's bugging you right now. I'm talking from experience here... at YOUR age, that's precisely what I would have done, and believe me, I've had many moments of regrets for acting on impulse like this.

It's really a sign of majurity that you don't let your anger get the better of you and that you try to look back at this after a couple of days and with (hopefully) more objectivity.

I hope whatever it IS that's annoying you so at the moment, will pass.

And BTW... I think friendship and loyalty IS something to value very much and I always assume others think the same way, but it's normal that not everybody does.

*hugs*

C.

[ausare.livejournal.com]

Ah well. I can't think straight enough to string proper sentences about the situation so it's better not to impulse-blog just yet. It'll just sound like ramblings mashed together XD Plus I was lazy and I just thought it's better not to exhaust my blogging materials so quickly :P

I let my anger get the better of me all the time but if I do, in this case, I'll just be attracting lots of remarks and suggestions from my parents that wouldn't be of any use to me and will just add on to my general indecision about resolving this problem. So... it's better to keep a hold on it for now. Not emotionally healthy, but ah, not much else I can do.

I don't think this problem will pass, though. It's sort of like a recurring thing that we try not to let affect us but every few weeks it just resurfaces. Ugh. I'll probably blog about this some other day when I can blog about this more "neatly".

I guess I just get disappointed that people don't value OUR friendship anywhere, remotely, as I do. It makes me feel super unappreciated =\ ah well. I still have other friends.

*Hugs back!*

[gn-chan.livejournal.com]

I went through something that I could relate to your post last weekend :(. I posted a random msg on twitter, emailed one of my best friends for comfort, and was going to do a post in LJ if I weren't so lazy XD. Whatever, I say that friendship is a commitment instead of a gift, if they can't appreciate it as much as I do, I don't need to do the same regarding them.

There's always someone somewhere we can count on, always. *hugs*

[ausare.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I think friends are a gift. They're the family we can choose, right? Or however that quote goes. But friendship? That bond between people who would otherwise be strangers? That takes serious commitment, and while I do feel angsty and disappointed that some of mine don't feel the same as I do about our friendship, I always hold on to the hope that as long as I take the initiative to maintain it, they'll chip in some effort on their part. Because while we're complaining that they don't make an effort, we end up not doing anything either and someone has to take that first step. Although, sometimes, even after I make an effort they don't follow up to it, so... =\

But yeah, there will always be some other friend who does respond as we hope someone would =)