Parenting epic FAIL

[ausare]

宿題が終わらない！嫌だ！
しゅくだいがおわらない！いやだ！
Shukudai ga owaranai! Iyada!
Assignments are never-ending! Do not want!
—

Right. So my sister reads my LJ and was saying that she's jealous of the kids that I take care of at work because I'm nicer to them than I am to her. For one, she's quite a few years older than the kids I handle, and so require less gentleness...? Besides, she's my own sister. And because I've grown up warped, and it’s a common thing from what I've heard of from my other friends who aren't the only child in the family, I’m rougher, harsher and quicker to rise to temper when it's my sister as compared to if it's other kids who have no familiar relations to me.

Besides, handling the kids and making sure they're having a good time is my job (because if they're happy, they're more likely to come again, which means their parents will be spending money, so company will profit, and therefore I wouldn't get fired) and I'm getting paid to be nice to those kids.

And so I told my sister to provide me with a salary and I will be nicer to her (as a joke, dammit! I'm not that heartless!), to which she gave me a look of un-amusement and my mother sputtered a "How can you even say that?!"

Um. Because I can? Because it's just a joke? Because my sister knows that I can't possibly make her pay me? Plus, just a couple of hours before this episode, during dinner, my father was telling—nay, lecturing—my sister to pay her friend for teaching her how to play the piano and reminding—nay, teaching—her that because she's taking up her friend's time and effort, she should pay her friend in return, no matter how small the amount is.

(Of course, that friend didn't accept the payment, good for her.)

Uh, epic parenting FAIL? You can't teach a child to pay a friend for spending time and effort on her. If that was true, the whole world will be drowning in debt because we'd have to pay so many people for helping us along in life.

And what is a friend? What is the purpose of a friend? To give unconditional support, help, care and concern without asking anything in return. Sure, that's the 'ideal' friendship and is hardly real 100% of the time, but isn't the whole idea of it what makes friendship such a beautiful subset of human relationships? You can't just cheapen the fundamental meaning of 'friendship' by turning it into a mere transaction of monetary value, regardless of how small the amount is.

I mean, we all treat our friends to a meal, the occasion drinks, buying them thoughtful gifts for birthdays and Christmas. But what's the motivation for these? It is the self-motivated effort on our part to show appreciation for the friend through intangible 'payment' (use of word is lowered to my parents' level to better 'relate' to them), and whether said friend is grateful for such actions doesn't matter because as a friend, there is no care for these immaterial gestures.

Teaching children to pay their friends for being a friend is NOT the way to educate children. Also? They will grow up to be as demented as my parents are: my father, who can only interact well with people relating to his business as opposed to us, his family, and has a warped idea of how he should handle communication within the family; my mother, who takes everything my father says to be WORD and not bothering to use an iota of her logical mind (or lack thereof) to even think or consider whether it is correct or applicable in the real world, and who is so old-fashioned even the more stiff-minded elderly people have a more advance way of thinking than her.

Ugh. This is getting long. Point is: Money is NOT the currency for friendship. Parenting FAIL is so frustrating, especially when aforementioned parents wouldn't care to revise their opinions to keep up with the times.

(Have typed the first 576 words on Albus (yes, I've named my MacBook with what is 'white' in Latin, what of it?) during the one hour bus ride this morning and I still had 88% power left when I alighted. Yay for long battery life! Woots!)

—
以上、Chii です。

Comments

[lausi-gm.livejournal.com]

I really don't get your parents. I know you have a rather cynical outlook on your upbringing, and it's hard to judge from the distance, but to me it seems your parents really fail to see how "damaging" it can be to connect friendship to payment. That's the complete opposite of what friendship is all about. But not just friendship, also the little things like helping out even strangers. Are we not supposed to expect or do this anymore without proper "re-imbursement" then? Hmmmm... I'm with you on that one, hun! Epic Fail!

Besides, I really think your Mom AND sister lack humor! Which is another thing everyone should have.

(...must admit, seeing as I can't reach Apple guy on the phone...it's hard for me to see the humor in that *growls at apple store*)

Hang in there, -zq!

Hugs,

C.

[ausare.livejournal.com]

*Sigh* I don't get my parents too. And I didn't argue my opinion with either of them because I know the drama that would ensue will be never-ending and I just don't have the energy for it. I just told my sister to treat her friend to lunch or some really good drinks instead.

(Her sense of humour is ok, it's just that we're both pretty good at giving each other the =.= 'so not amused' look, LOL. So it was the one I got in this case :P)

And I don't understand why they're so adamant about not giving you your MacBook. What???

You hang in there too!! =)