modus operandi

Growing up = Making sacrifices / Life update!

2011-07-08T10:30:10Z

Ugh, I haven't blogged in forever.

Work has been overwhelming(ly tiring), and it doesn't help that I've started having Japanese classes twice a week after work so I've been getting back at around 11pm almost every other day, especially if I meet up with friends for dinner and such. Not that I'm complaining; I'm of the belief that I should do whatever I can without exhausting myself entirely when I have time. Live life fully, yeah? Although it does mean having less time for myself, like catching up with TV shows, reading, manga, blogging... Although I don't have anything interesting happening in my life all the time so there's no point blogging frequently, anyway.

I'm trying to make time for reading by getting ebooks to read on the way to work and back (which was how I finally finished re-reading Harry Potter! In time for the final movie! OMG it's the last movie already...), and I've just changed my mobile phone to a HTC Desire S so I'll be able to watch .avi format shows and read manga from there.

I guess all these are inevitable, this whole growing up, shifting priorities, limited number of hours a day to work with... Of course I can let all those go so I have time to rest, but I don't want to. It's part of me, how I am, all these interests in shows and manga, even know people would probably think I should be growing out of those. There's no way I'll let go of the things that made me the way I am now, which is why I'm finding ways to hold on to them.

What I miss the most, though, is writing. It's so difficult to find the time to write, and for that spare time to coincide with the muse, although the right way to do it is to force myself to write and sooner or later the "groove" will come back.

I miss creating stories, letting words spill from my mind through my fingers, creating people - characters, creating something meaningful from the arrangement of words.

Of all the things I've had to put aside during weekdays and most of the weekends that are spent either with various groups of friends or Y... I JUST REALLY MISS WRITING, OKAY :'(

Right, enough with the angst. Life update! Life-long dream #2 (well, not life-long, but pretty important, anyway) achieved! Well, not "achieved", but in planning stage.

I'M GOING TO JAPAN TO WATCH w-inds.'s 10TH ANNIVERSARY CONCERT!!!

I'll be going with Jane, someone I've met in the fan community on LJ (like what, couple of years ago?), to Osaka and Kyoto HOLY SHIZZLES KYOTO!!! :DDD

Anyway, we're beginning to plan our itinerary, but the plane tickets and accommodation were already booked. OMG THE EXCITEMENT. I swear, it's overflowing to the point where every time we talk/text/meet each other and talk about it we spend 25% of the time squeeing. FOR REAL.

OH DEAR LORDS I think it hasn't really sunk in that I'll be seeing the w-inds. boys IN REAL LIFE. I hope I don't cry or faint at the sight of them when we get there!

—
以上、Chii です。

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Born to be brave

2011-05-05T15:16:39Z

So. This is my obligatory Singapore General Elections 2011 entry. Am typing this while on my way home on the MRT, hearing nothing but the echoes of China accent that slipped through the music from my headphone. Although I have to stand on the train the whole hour again, like always, at least I can still feel the AC today, unlike yesterday when I sweat the whole way home. But I digress. Just a warning though, there are too many thoughts running simultaneously through my mind and I doubt this is going to be am intelligent, coherent entry.

( WALL OF TEXT UNDER THIS CUT )

Also. Tomorrow is Cooling day, aka. No Free Speech At Least About The Elections Day, so we're prohibited from speaking about anything that's related to it. In the 24 hours of silence, there are some clickable links:

The Online Citizen
TODAYdigital on YouTube
For the lulz. No, seriously, watch it.

以上、Chii です。

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Angsty entry is angsty

2011-03-21T12:52:05Z

Couples flaunting their photos and lovey messages on Facebook annoy me. I can't seem to explain in actual words why but it's like, "HA HA WE GET TO BE ALL COUPLEY AND YOU CAN'T. NOT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW BECAUSE ONLY 10% OF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW APPROVES."

I know part of why I can't is because I'm holding myself back from doing those stuff. And I hold back about how I really feel about him in front of people because even those who approves keep wanting me to not invest too much and "to wait and see how things go" and screw that, it's not a real relationship if there's no real investment and involvement from both parties. Plus, I have affection issues and I don't like to admit how I feel about the people I care about. Even until now I have problems admitting, to myself (damn, how screwed up am I?), how I feel about him because it's scary; it scares me, the way I feel about him, and admitting to anyone at all is like taking away my last defenses and go, "Here, here's all of me. Take my thumpy, bleeding heart and do with it what you will because it doesn't seem to be mine anymore." It's just being every kind of vulnerable and I hate being that way. I dislike not having any barriers to keep even just a sliver of myself safe and unhurt because, damn, I have parental issues and Past Relationship issues and I don't want to be put in that spot again where anyone can go, "Hey, I'll take this absolute power you've given me and turn it against you."

But I digress.

The thing is, as much as it annoys me to see couples being outwardly affectionate and braggy about their relationship and their significant other, I want to be able to have the freedom to do all that. I want to be able to be affectionate with him in front of people without the constant worry that they will, and are going to, judge us. I want to brag about how awesome he is, because disregarding his faults, which everyone is bound to have some of their own, he is awesome and and. I think I'm losing focus here.

I guess I just find it unfair that people can freely show how they feel while there's this unspoken rule, just for me, that I'm not allowed to do the same, and that people have the freedom to fall in and out of love however they like while I'm not even allowed to have the chance to see if this relationship can be serious enough to make it. Yes, that's all it is. The unjust of my world.

Hang ups, I haz dem.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Finally

2011-02-27T12:42:35Z

I AM FINALLY MOVING OUT!!! Well, not on my own, like my original dream was, because that's just not feasible in Singapore considering the high rent and my pay and the things I'm saving for and that annoying $1k that I have to give my mother every month to pay for some investment stuff and for my university tuition. But that's okay! At least I'll be almost on the other end of Singapore and almost a whole country away from my parents (well... Singapore's not that big so it's not that dramatic, anyway) so, OBJECTIVE ACCOMPLISHED!!!

Childhood dream (somewhat) achieved!!!

(Actually, it was a little anti-climactic because I anticipated shouting and screaming and accusations and threats and outright refusal to let me go and I was gearing up for a huge "YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES AND I CANNOT LIVE WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND LET YOU MESS UP MY LIFE ANY MORE AND I'M ALMOST 23 YEARS OLD AND I SHALL BE TREATED LIKE ONE AND IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT I'M TAKING MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS SO SUCK ON THAT I'M MOVING THE HELL OUT OF HERE" but it didn't happen, so. So much for preparing for hysterics and drama. But I'm not complaining!)

Now to make that second dream come true...

:DDD

—
以上、Chii です。

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When you want something

2011-02-23T12:02:46Z

When you want something hard enough, you'll find a way to make it happen. Or something like that, I can't remember the actual quote.

And right now, there are two (immediate) things and I want a lot a lot a lot. One's a dream/wish that started when I was probably too young to understand the intensity of that desire but it has never changed nor faded all these years, and another is something I will regret forever if I don't make it happen. And I do have regrets that never tempered as time went by, and I know how utterly frustrating and heartbreaking it feels. Suffice to say, I don't want to have to feel that again.

Anyway. I'm in the process of making both things happen. And I'm not superstitious or anything, but I don't want to jinx it by telling the whole world about it (also, there was this video somewhere that talks about having less chance of achieving something the more people you tell it to. Ah, it's this one). Plus it all still feels like a small step, for both things, but anyway, it's a step nonetheless and I'll make sure I get there sooner or later.

—
以上、Chii です。

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You're not getting it

2011-02-12T05:16:28Z

After so many times of me reiterating it and trying to make you girls see it, you all are still missing the point.

Celebrating someone's birthday isn't dependent on whether you do it on the actual day of that person's birthday or not. Look at it this way. Is it more enjoyable to have only 2-3 friends turning up for your birthday dinner/celebration or having 5-6 people turning up? Will the fact of having the celebration on the actual day of your birthday make up for the 3 people who won't be able to make it?

Think about it. What makes birthday celebrations awesome? The friends who turn up to spend time with you, no? It's not the presents, the free meal, and certainly not the minor detail of it being the actual day. The important part is being in the company of people who care for you, want to spend time with you, and appreciate that you came to be in the world and cross paths with them.

It's the idea of birthday celebrations that makes it all the more better, the rest are all superficial things, tangible things that make that idea easier to grasp, to give reason to.

Sure, it's your birthday, and it's only right to give you what you want. I hope with all your insistence that you'll be happy celebrating without the 3 people who would have otherwise been able to make it if we all met up on the Saturday before.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Words can't describe

2011-01-26T14:18:59Z

Words can't describe how much I hate you. How I hate my circumstances, my life, and all the things in it that I can't choose.

I feel like Merlin now. Having to make do with the things I can't change, while my elder, who, even though knows about my situation and knows that things needed to change, instead of helping or encouraging me to actively challenge things and fight for a change, is telling me to lie low and wait. Wait for, not a chance to start a change, but for the eventual changing of times. To not contest for what is right and to make them see the wrong of their ways, but to wait for when they finally have no say to what I say or do and I can leave while they continue on the way they've always had.

What's the point if they don't get it? How long do I have to wait? A year? Three? Five? Ten? How do I know I won't be driven mad while I wait for my chance to finally leave and cut my ties for good?

—
以上、Chii です。

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So. Even though I promised myself no more crying after yesterday...

2011-01-15T06:09:10Z

Ever friggin song just sets me off. I don't effing know why. Maybe I'm just feeling off. And I still feel like a mess inside. And no one sees. Half of me thinks that it's a good thing because I don't want to be one of those people who's begging for attention and pity. Half of me hates it because, damn it, I'm hurting and I wished that people are better at reading others to see that I need... something. A hug. Someone to hold my hand. Someone to sit with me until I stop crying. Someone to show that he/she knows without me asking for or seeking acknowledgement. I don't need someone to tell me that it'll be fine, that things will work out, because right now I can't see any way out of it, it's just a tunnel with a dead end and there's no metaphorical light coming in. Not that I don't appreciate Jay for listening to me vent my frustrations, but I thought that I'd feel better after. I thought I was strong enough like I always was to put it behind me, to see it as a battle I can win in the future. I thought after crying in the shower yesterday evening like a pathetic thing I'll be done with feeling like this and I'll be able to talk about this and get it over with like the calm person I've grown to be. But still, after I sternly talked myself into having no more angst-fests after last night, practically everything sets me off this morning and I just don't know. I don't know what in the world I'm going to do with myself. I hate feeling like this. I hate being this "Woe is me" person. I hate feeling like I'm the only person in the whole world who's feeling so unhappy because I know there are people with worse troubles than I do. Where did I get the idea that I finally have the right to be selfish to able to want something for myself? Because, obviously, I'll never have that right. No one wants me to be happy. The people who should be the happiest for me don't want me to be. What's the point of choosing what I want when no one wants me to keep it? Maybe I'll have to let it go, after all. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I've always been resigned to the truth that I'll be forever alone, anyway. I'm tired of fighting against it. I know I should fight harder. I thought I could do this, that I'm strong enough, that it'll be enough, that I alone am enough to fight against all this. But maybe I'm not, after all. Maybe I'm a coward, after all. I just want to run away from all this so I can feeling like I'm able to be myself again. Maybe I'll be fine soon, but I know it's only on the surface, it's just me trying to ignore and forget. Maybe I'll be driven mad one day. I don't know. I want to be happy again but I think I've forgotten how.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Giant squid of angst

2011-01-14T01:06:00Z

Maybe it doesn't work this way. Maybe reality will always work against my dreams. Maybe love doesn't always win. Maybe being fearless doesn't change anything, not really. Maybe I was never meant to have anything to truly call mine. Maybe I will grow old alone like I've always thought I would. And I've never hated my parents as much as I do now. I want to run away, or stab them to death, or crawl into a corner and slip away forever, or just die. And dammit I hate crying and it's the second day I've cried and felt like a mess and for goodness' sake, self, get a grip, you're on a friggin' bus (I've never been so glad that I have long hair to hide my face with but I think the other passengers know and I don't dare to look up to check for my stop). And I can't listen to any song without wanting to cry. It's going to be the second day of not being able to concentrate at work and screw that, I can do this, I am not going to let myself think about this for the next nine hours, I refuse to turn into a mess during work.

—
以上、Chii です。

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It's that time of the year again

2010-12-31T14:51:51Z

まだ一年。
まだいちねん。
Mada ichinen.
Yet another year.
—

Wow. I haven't been blogging for a little over a month and it's almost new year already? Okay, small update, I'm doing fine, work is all right, colleagues are nice (psychotic, but just the way I like it YAY) parents are just as infuriating and nothing interesting happened recently because work is now taking up majority of my time, unlike back in uni when classes end early and we can go elsewhere to have fun. OH OH OH. I've gotten my new passport today! You know how cooped up you are when your (my old) passport is 98% empty, expired three years ago and the photo is of you at age 11 (or was it 9? I couldn't tell). YAY COMPANY (team) TRIP TO BATAM THIS COMING JANUARY!

( Regarding 2010/2011 )

—
以上、Chii です。

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Hufflepuff for a day / Video Monday 27

2010-11-22T13:43:06Z

卒業。
そつぎょう。
Sotsugyou.
Graduation.
—

Have officially graduated from university.

( Where have the past two years disappeared to?! )

VIDEO MONDAY 27

[Direct link to the video]

I don't have any phone that can support this game, and so I don't have this game. But I kinda get the story behind this and LOL. This is just full of lulz.

—
以上、Chii です。

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An update of random thoughts

2010-11-04T13:57:32Z

長い週末。
ながいしゅうまつ。
Nagai shuumatsu.
Long weekend.
—

For some reason I was feeling extremely tired at work yesterday even though the night before I slept half an hour earlier than usual. It didn't help that the air-con in the office building has been crazy the past few days. First it was freezing, then two days ago it was cold in the morning but warm in the afternoon (because, apparently, someone shut off the vents. The idiot. There was no air circulation and we had to leave our office door open to let the AC from the corridor in!) and it was cold again yesterday morning but slightly less so in the afternoon. Hence my extremely bad headache that set in after lunch. The two Panadol pills I took helped, but only just a bit because my head still hurt (and I kept falling asleep) for the rest of the day.

So I did something I wanted to since starting work but never managed to. I slept at 10p.m. instead of my usual midnight bedtime. Then I woke up at 3a.m. because my body's used to having just 5-6 hours of sleep and because it was starting to rain then and the wind was howling madly. Somehow I managed to fall back asleep. I seriously need to start sleeping earlier every week night because after the long(er) sleep last night, I felt so much better at work this morning.

(Actually, I had the rest of this entry written down in my notebook this afternoon because I have half-day workdays on the eve of public holidays. After some shopping after work for a lunchbox bag and some socks, I had planned to stay in the library to do stuff on Albus because no one at home was able to connect to the Internet since yesterday even though our modem seemed to be working fine. Turned out every electric socket in the library was hogged—some people were just watching videos, what the hell?!—and half of all previously available sockets were either locked down or blocked. Seriously, public library facilities management, DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-EFF?! I didn't have Albus's battery with me because it was getting swollen and I didn't want to risk using it to breaking point and with no available socket, I just sat on a random cushion, endured a creepy guy in a purple tee who kept walking around my area, and wrote. And read a bit of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets until it was time to go home. Congrats to those who read/made it this far. Even I think all that was way too boring to blog about.)

( Click for random thoughts of randomness )

—
以上、Chii です。

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Video Monday 26

2010-11-01T15:59:29Z

君しかいらない。
きみしかいらない。
Kimi shika iranai.
:)
—

So I came home around 9p.m. after a rare weekday dinner date with the bf. Heh. And it's near midnight now so I don't have much time to ramble on so... here's a video for this Monday. Also. I has long weekend! Thank you, company, for giving us half-days on the eve of public holidays so I'm getting a half-day on Thursday (and we get to come into the office in casual wear woot woot!), a public holiday on Friday, and weekends! YAY!

VIDEO MONDAY 26

[Direct link to the video]

A fan-made video of w-inds.'s 'Some More'. This video's really well put together and I'm loving this song all over again.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Video Monday 25

2010-10-25T14:57:44Z

もっと愛を上げる。
もっとあいをあげる。
Motto ai wo ageru.
Give more love.
—

No thanks to those people burning vegetation illegally over at our dear neighbouring Indonesia, we've been having serious haze for almost a week. It was so bad we were practically surrounded by a fog, and the moment you step out from any indoor area you could smell something. BURNING. And the haze didn't let up until after a huge storm yesterday afternoon in the west and another one this morning in the east where I am. I hope that means I can sleep with my windows open tonight and not needing to worry about breathing in vegetation ash while asleep.

VIDEO MONDAY 25

[Direct link to the video]

I really don't have much to say about this anymore. At least not anything profound and moving.

People, do you not see what hate does to others? Being hateful doesn't rid the world of the things you don't understand or can't accept. Your hate is making others hate themselves for things that are out of their control and making them think that they're worthless when they're not. What makes you think you are without traits that would incite dislike from other people? Why is it that you're not driven to the point where you think there's nothing in your life left to live for and the only way to stop feeling like a sorry excuse for a human being is to take your own life? Because there are people who hate less. Because there are people who at least understand, even if they don't accept certain things. Because there are people capable of giving a little bit more love.

It gets better, only if we believe enough to let it—if we hate a little less and love a little more.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Various updates / Video Monday 24

2010-10-18T13:04:36Z

雨が欲しい〜
あめがほしい〜
Ame ga hoshii~
(I) want rain~
—

There was a book fair/sale at the Expo a few days ago and Y got me two Merlin novels just because while he was there like a bookworm drawn to book sales. Envy me, for my boyfriend is both nerdy and awesome XD
(Ooh, Colin and Bradley~ *Coos at book covers*)

Anyway. I started out typing this entry with a few things in mind that I wanted to say, but now I've forgotten what I was going to update about. Fail.

It was supposed to go something like: I kept nodding off at work because after years of staying up for uni stuff, I can't seem to keep to my 10p.m. bedtime. Waking up at 6a.m. for five days a week has made work hours very difficult to get through. And I've been packing my own lunch to work since the third day of work because eating outside meant having to endure the heat and the expensive CBD menu. Although I feel so wrung out tonight that I'm not really up to cooking something for tomorrow. I guess I'll just buy a sandwich from 7-11 tomorrow morning on my way to the bus stop. Then maybe I'll mention something about the crazy heat these few days. I didn't even have to switch on the heater for the shower; the water was too warm on the lowest setting. And that my hair's getting long enough to be at that length that its mere presence is irritating, and it sticks to the back of my neck and fizzes when it gets too warm or too humid even though I have straight hair (so totally not true that only curly and/or wavy hair fizzes). Can the rainy/monsoon season be here now? UGH.

Okay. I think my mind just went *kapoot* because it's functioning on a lack of energy while the weather is overheating it. Stupid equatorial weather.

VIDEO MONDAY 24

[Direct link to the video]

Because I'm geeky and this will blow your mind.

—
以上、Chii です。

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A little less fail / Video Monday 23

2010-10-11T13:08:38Z

長い夏。
ながいなつ。
Nagai natsu.
Long summer.
—

Can the monsoon/rainy season come already? It's so hot and humid I sweat even more easily than usual and the tap water is warm. THE TAP WATER. IS WARM.

On the topic of a little less fail, after 22 years of EPIC FAIL, I've finally learned how to ride a bicycle! Just this past weekend, K.Ying's uni friends had some project thingy (which I had no idea how to explain) but the objective of it was to teach a skill or something. So I was (one of the two) guinea pig(s) of the project and they had to teach me how to ride a bicycle.

After two days of two hours of bike riding each, lots of shrieking, almost-cursing (which I had to self-censor to "FISH!" instead because there were kids around), too many times of almost-falling-off-the-bicycle, a few bruises, countless scratches from the pedals, getting sunburnt, I finally managed to stay on the bicycle long enough to be considered cycling. Herein is the end to all the teasing I kept getting for not knowing how to cycle. HAH! Also, this meant that, technically, I only took less than four hours to learn how to ride a bicycle. WIN! :D

(Aah... Gotta live with the sunburn, aching arms and the pain in the seat of my bum for a few more days.)

VIDEO MONDAY 23

[Direct link to the video]

This is just beautiful.

—
以上、Chii です。

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First day at work

2010-10-04T13:28:39Z

これはいい。
Kore wa ii.
This is nice.
—

AAAAHHHH!!! Today was my first day as a proper individual of the workforce!

Nothing much happened, actually. The "show you guys around the around and to the various important people" sort-of orientation was just a bit overwhelming because I can't quite remember all the names, much less match them to the faces I saw. And lots of people were missing from the office so there were a handful of names I had no faces to match to. The rest of the day we (me and two other new employees/colleagues) had "training", which is just more introduction to the company, company structure, work processes and yada yada. Then there was a short introduction to the inhouse (?) system. So much listening and reading and aslkdjfagldka so difficult to stay awake! And by the time I sat down at the bus stop to wait for my ride home, I was developing a mild headache. It's almost two hours after dinner now and I can still feel the slight pain pinching at my temples. Ugh...

But that's only the very insignificant negative parts of today. Let me count the good things, because that's the only important thing and the only things we should remember, right?

( Lemme count... )

It feels a little surreal and nostalgic holding physical copies of academic journals now that I never had to search for them nor read them anymore because my essay-writing days are over. Strangely, now that I no longer have to read academic journals just to write 2500-worded essays, I kinda want to read them for the sake of reading and to know whatever new argument or theory someone has in their field of academia. Because I'm weird and geeky and nerdy this way.

Now to continue reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets until it's time to sleep.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Today = Awesomesauce

2010-10-01T09:36:52Z

1. I have a job.
2. I'm having a good hair day.
3. Had a lunch date with Jay again :D
4. Had Yeo's lemon barley drink (yum lemon barley!).
5. Also, have I mentioned, I HAVE A JOB STARTING THIS COMING MONDAY XD

Well, there's this rule/clause thing about being their employee and blogging, so I guess I can't really say where I'm working, but if you're on my Facebook or Twitter, you'd have known by now, anyway. For those who still don't, as specific as I can get without getting into trouble, it's a publishing company, and I'm doing an assistant/admin sort of position.

What does this mean?

Regular pay! Nine hours a day, five days a week away from the parents! More freedom (I hope)! I can watch shows and read my books and my mother will have no reason to complain and nag because HELL YEAH I'M NO LONGER UNEMPLOYED!

Goodness. Now I owe lots of people dinners. But. Whatever!!! Goodbye, unemployment! *Dances happy flaily dance*

—
以上、Chii です。

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This is strange

2010-09-30T15:54:12Z

これは私の部屋じゃない。
これはわたしのへやじゃない。
Kore wa watashi no heya ja nai.
This is not my room.
—

Since graduating from uni more than a month ago, I've finally dug up the courage to tackle the clutter and conquer the dust, ie., tidy my room and my desk. It was a two-day project on Monday and Tuesday because as contained as the clutter seemed, it's impossible to neutralise it in one day. Plus, I had Jay over on the first day for YouTube videos and Merlin watching so operations were put on hold before dinner on the first day.

( Operation Impossible )

—
以上、Chii です。

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My life. Is dramatically boring.

2010-09-26T13:04:46Z

退屈な週末。
たいくつなしゅうまつ。
Taikutsu na shuumatsu.
(It's a) boring weekend.
—

So this week's been pretty boring. Except for when I've had to meet up with the recruitment agency that searches for candidates for Wiley on Thursday for sort of an pre-interview preparation (see this entry) for the actual interview with Wiley on Friday.

The actual interview, though, was. Whoa. Every bit as intense as my friend had described (she went for the same interview a few weeks before me but wasn't successful, obviously, but she found a job in an events/marketing company). There was a panel of three people from the journal production team who interviewed me, and they really did have a stack of papers from which there were questions they asked me with. And and. They wrote down all the answers I gave. Goodness. Then, after all the questions I had to do a test on identifying printing errors and another on replying to a complain email.

I went for my interview at 9.30a.m. and by the time I got out the office building it was 11.30a.m.

It was all right though, I guess. At least all that preparation the night before until 3.30a.m. (because I was reading a Merlin Big Bang fanfic until 2.30a.m. Heh) on 'What questions to ask interviewers' and 'How to reply to a letter of complaint' kept me from freaking out.

I really hope I get this job. One, it stops my mother from nagging at me every day; and two, I'll finally have one foot in the publishing industry. (Also, after passing by Parkview Square so many times I've finally been inside the building and gosh, it was posh. Of course, that's only the lobby and bar on the ground floor, but GIMME THE JOB SO I CAN BE IN THIS BUILDING MORE THAN ONCE.) But time will tell; the last day to get a call from the human resource department is 4 October. In the mean time I can only cross my fingers. And continue with mass résumé-emailing, starting tomorrow.

( Regarding Wednesday's To-do List )

—
以上、Chii です。

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Re: Yesterday's To-Do list

2010-09-23T09:02:40Z

So yesterday's list? I've only done #1 and #2.

Then it was lunch time so the list got put on hold, and when I wanted to continue with it, a technician came to take a look at our Internet connection because it's been wonky in the morning the past week and I've got this thing where I don't like to walk around the house when there's a stranger in said house. So there went any plan to clean anything because it meant trips to and from the bathroom for cleaning supplies and stuff. Ah but I did get started on the second Harry Potter book this (late) morning when I was on the bus on my way to a job-recruitment agency which I found an ad for Wiley from.

Speaking of which, I went down to the agency because the agent was supposed to brief me about the actual interview tomorrow and apparently I don't exude confidence.

(Thanks, mum and dad, for stamping out any self-confidence I might have had with your demented methods of child-raising and substituted it with the need to be quiet and subservient and never-talk-first-or-at-all-unless-being-talked-to-and-even-so-don't-talk-so-much.)

Okay, whatever, I need to stop keeping my parents and their epic fail as part of my equation to any and everything. I need to remember that during my interview tomorrow, any answer I give with regards to education choices cannot include parental pressure. Must remember that anything that isn't me-centric is the wrong answer.

It's not lying during an interview, is it? Kinda like, omission of facts and stuff. Besides, who doesn't talk crap during interviews?

Also, it's going to be super intense because there's going to be a panel of three interviewers with a stack of questions to ask and (according to my uni friend who went for the same interview a few weeks ago) there will be two tests after that.

Oh. Em. Gee.

But. Anyway. First things first: continue with yesterday's to-do list.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Today's agenda

2010-09-22T02:57:48Z

~~1. Wash the cups that are slowly accumulating on my desk (current count: 2).~~ Done.
~~2. Watch Glee season 2 episode 1 (or at least find a place to "obtain" it from).~~ Done, and done.
~~3. Iron the clothes that are piling up on my bed.~~ Done on 26 September.
~~4. Mop my bedroom floor.~~ Done on 24 September, but it's getting dirty again already.
~~5. Clean Albus (my white MacBook, for those who didn't know).~~ Done on 28 September.
~~6. Tidy my desk (if I'm brave enough).~~ Done on 28 September.
~~7. Tidy my room (if I'm feeling ambitious enough).~~ Done on 28 September.
~~8. Start reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.~~ Done on 24 September, now to finish the book.

This list shows just what a slob I am.

—
以上、Chii です。

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You know you're too much of a fangirl when

2010-09-21T05:02:50Z

私は奇妙な夢を見た。
わたしはきみょうなゆめをみた。
Watashi wa kimyou na yume wo mita.
I had a strange dream.
—

I think this is a sign that I'm too deep in the Merlin and Harry Potter fandom.

I had a dream that some of us (me and a few uni friends who I chat with more frequently on Twitter than we have the chance to in real life) have magic but it's not really accepted in society, and, added to that, one of the guys in my dream *ahem* isn't so straight.

There was rain, hoodies, flying on broomsticks, me having a mad search for my mobile phone with my previous phone in mind but eventually finding my current one, a young mother teaching homophobia to her child and why it's wrong for two people of the same gender to love each other, and our Media Interviews lecturer (strangely named 'Mr. London') searching/secretly hunting us down for being magic and accepting that homosexuality exists and thinking that it's not wrong.

I guess this dream alone explains how weird I am. Or who I am:

Rain: I LOVE rain.
Mobile phone: Geeky.
Having magic and not being accepted for it: Harry Potter and Merlin.
Broomstick flying: Harry Potter (I shouldn't have gotten myself angsty by looking at two pictures of Hedwig last night).
Homophobia-hate/Acceptance of the existence of homosexuality: Does this even need explaining?
Hoodies: I don't know, I just like hoodies.
Being hunted down by an ex-lecturer: It's not a secret that I DON'T LIKE HIM.
Him being called 'Mr. London': I have a thing for UK, a'ight?

I am so much weirder than I thought I am.

—
以上、Chii です。

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Go and DIAF

2010-09-18T03:37:49Z

Almost every day I wonder how I managed to survive another day living in close proximity with someone (some people) with such severe mental afflictions without going mad myself.

I should record everything down and send it to the Institute of Mental Health and have them deal with her (them). Maybe they'll put her (them) down. I can only hope. Or fantasise. Because I honestly don't know where's my limit. After 22 years, I'm thinking the threshold can't be any further.

(Goodness. My scissors were within reach just now and it was so tempting to just stab her with it and be done with her.)

—
以上、Chii です。

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Safe!

2010-09-17T07:41:44Z

私今年は卒業できる！
わたしことしはそつぎょうできる！
Watashi kotoshi wa sotsugyou dekiru!
I can graduate this year!
—

After almost two months of waiting, our final grades for our final trimester came out late last night (here in Singapore, since it was already past 12 midnight over at Australia where the university it) and PHEW I PASSED.

The module everyone was worried about was the Creativity module because a) The lecturer isn't lenient with marking, and b) 'creativity' is already a subjective enough subject to write about, much less the studies about defining 'creativity'. But. Whatever~ I passed!!! Barely.

By two marks. Heh.

What's annoying is that Journalism and Advanced Public Relations Studies were just one and two marks away from a Distiction grade. Ugh. Technically, Journalism was just 0.8 marks away from Distinction. *Bangs head on desk repeatedly*

Aah, whatever. At least I've passed all. Which means not needing to retake that damn Creativity module, not needing to go back for lessons, and not needing to spend an extra S$1000++ to remodule. Phew!

Now all that's left is to get a job to commence on Operation: Get Away from Parents.

Hmm. Does anyone know when's the actual graduation date/convocation?

—
以上、Chii です。

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